Freedom, Balance, and Molasses

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Is it not simply freedom that we are all longing for?
Freedom from the subconscious tyrant,
the one that mulls over mistakes and forbids self efficacy
Freedom from impending deadlines and constant hurry
Freedom from failure and the faults within
Freedom from cyclical tragedies and
generational maladaptation

Is it not simply balance that we strive for?
a balance between justice and mercy,
judgement and grace,
It is like we have got this innate inability to develop boundaries
that protect, nurture, sustain, and transcend
Instead we’re giving too little, taking too much
or giving everything, with nothing remaining at all

Have you experienced slowness,
like molasses dripping from a tablespoon?
Or is everything around you like crashing water,
thin liquid running over and you cannot hold
anything solid in your hands?
It must be freedom that you long for,
balance that you lack
If it was left up to willpower,
or boiled down to behaviorism
We’d be a stagnant people
plagued by inadequacy and predicted
by statistics and those before us
Yet we have not been left alone

To be known and to be loved,
to feel known, to feel loved
to know and to still love,
Are these not the remedies for nearly every
dark hour?

I must accept my total inability to save myself
or anyone around me before I can step into
the joy of obedience
before my process of sanctification will feel more like freedom
and less like penance

and here is freedom,
balance blooming inside of me
not yet achieved, not solely up to me
I will embrace this state of malleability
settle into this new found dignity
No longer weighted by a constant state of
struggling to
maintain personal holiness

This vulnerability is an invitation to
think deeper, to believe more
What if you could gain everything
in one moment of surrendering?

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