First

I’m sharing a love poem from a few years ago. My husband and I are moving out of our first apartment in less than a week and I’ve been going through our things and making sure we aren’t taking anything we don’t need to our new home. I’ve caught myself finding letters and scraps of paper hiding in books and boxes. I wrote this poem for him after dating for eight months. This poem is a good reminder, to love and to love well. We are called to put others first, to love them above ourselves, above our pride, weaknesses, work, and even our sadness. Have you ever heard that love is at first a feeling and then it is a choice? I believe this to be true. We are all bearing burdens, battling emotions, distractions, and darkness. My heart aches, but it can also love. In sickness and in health, in the newness of spring and the dead of winter.

–

You are first.
The first thought I think in the morning,
the first voice I miss in the evening
You are first and only.
The only one I want when I don’t want anything,
the only good thing in the midst of my anxiety
You are first and last.
The last hand I will hold to my face,
feel your fingertips on my lips like a sacred belonging
the last heart I will carry in mine,
my love for you is a strong thing.
You are first to me, and for me,
before my pride and worry
You are before the sun and moon,
before the things I need to do
You are first and only, my dear,
I’d admire you for days, I admire you always
I’ll choose you first and only and last
First when I rise, only when I walk,
and last when I lay
You are first for all of the days.

Written 12.08.16