Held Together

Things got all twisted up all of the sudden,
you see there is so much pressure impending upon the New Year
It’s like I had everything straight one second, two strings
next to each other, pulled tight at an angle
and they become twisted
like twine my heart cannot figure any of this untangle-able

It’s not just one thing but many
and when the snow falls it accumulates
precipitation looks better when it’s all separated up in the sky
when each piece is on its own
I don’t like how this has gotten all


Trying to breathe better
but when I close my eyes I feel the way
they tremble – and my hands, I swear I’m not cold anymore but
my bones won’t stay straight, they knock against eachother

Time is the worst thing there is
We’ll say we have so much of it, but each second
becomes shorter, each day like a drawn out dialogue
dwindles into night, into nothingness

Oh it’s a strange thing, how quickly this longing
and ache has turned into an incessant worry
Or how valuable life is made out to be
only when it is threatened
Or how a circumstance can escalate
into an eternity – or how distance can be so terrifying

Help me to remember that there is a new morning
That it’s coming soon, that there will be light
that new opportunity and chances are not scarce
And in danger

Help me to remember that my soul is not
a limiting entity, that my mind is not the
epitome, that my anxiety
is not worth anything

Help me to remember that my faith
isn’t fleeting, that my strength isn’t up to me
that although our bodies are failing
and our thoughts are escaping
Help me to remember, this is not the end

My brain has been against me from the beginning, honestly
I’ve always reverted to loathing myself when imperfection
occurs, and nothing is ever perfect
So when it all stacks up
when events and actions, conversation and matters,
when issues arise, and sickness caves in, and darkness drowns
out the light that I crave to see
I am left with an overwhelming
physical and mental state and I can see it now
like a dark cloud, or a long hallway

Help me to remember that all things pass
and that all things are held together even when my
insides are broken up, twisted up, and
caught up in these times
Help me to remember,
that all things are held together

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