another year gone by

the bitter taste in my mouth, the massive ache in our hearts,

we will never forget this day and what it held four years ago.

the weakness shot through my knees, the lingering tears to come day after day, month after month, year after year.

it all became so fragile from that day on, everything turned to glass and slowly the world we knew tilted and the vases and jars of our life began to fall off the shelves and shatter.

and now. i still ask why, i still wonder how, and the very core of my heart is like ice, only warmed by my God’s unfailing love and his promises that last forever.

it does not hurt any less, her voice still has the same capacity to disable any numbness i feel. but it seems everything else around us has changed, the rest of the world progresses and moves on- but we do not live by the world’s wisdom, for it has none. the world would call it death, we call it life. the world would claim it hopeless, but we find hope in our lord and we know he is with us, if we were by ourselves, if we were left abandoned, we would collapse beneath the immensity of pain and the enormity of loss.

fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen..

i say this not in a way that we embrace our sorrow, but that we will give our sadness over to the only one who is able to revive.

we are told to have joy in the lord, and that is exactly what we must do.

for what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal..

it won’t be long before we are whole again, and although the gloom we see has the aptitude to steal us, the strength of our Lord has already saved us.

love you kate

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