where do i go from here?

i would love a direction, north, south, east, west.i would love a motivation.i would love for once to feel peace through words, i would love to do what i love;without time’s burden on my back and society’s rules claiming my success.i disagree with more than you’d think, and i have never known where to go.strange; the way these letters appear so slow, when my thoughts corrupt the hours i have,when my thoughts steal any quiet i could get.nothing is accessible with a life like this,everything is susceptible with rights and wrongs like this.i do not cherish my vulnerability, it’s all too sad for me to assert the hope i used to have.hope that i lose and gain then lose again.where do i go from here?i know what i don’t want and i know that this life is not what will satisfy me,i don’t want it to be all about me. i can paraphrase and read,i can listen and breathe, but i can’t seem to believe.i do know one thing for sure, there is so much more than this.there is more than a windowless building, there is more than i can see, and even though i feel like i have been drowned by my thoughts of everything. there is more than i think.there is more to the sky than the sun and the clouds, the moon and the stars and as complex as this life is alone, there is more to this life that i want to live for.what is there to overcome, when everything overcomes me, i’m learning new definitions of the word overwhelm each day, and i’m learning i can’t let life stay this way.