the simplicity in this life is so easily stolen by the complexity. i cannot help myself from questioning the conformity of this society, and i always come up more helpless than before. i don’t understand the need to do so many things that ultimately bring me no experience, no joy, and no wisdom. i want to put my time and effort into happiness, and successes that i will be proud of gaining, not happy to put behind me, i want to do something for someone else. if only the people who “taught” could really teach the actualities of life. but what do i know? my insight seems to bound me up instead of set me free, i only feel above complications when i am not involved in them and my language of generosity seems to be a barrier, along with compassion which only brings me down. i still have to look towards truth, because in my mind now all i see is darkness and shadows, and avoiding what i know has to be true somehow, denying it, and cursing it only leads to a deeper loneliness. i’ve got plenty of things ahead of me, and i’ve got a world full of anxiety inside of me. behind me? it’s hard to glance at my past that seems like a different lifetime, but now. right now i’m consumed by consistent failures and doubts. i want to be putting every drop of my soul towards something, a purpose or an idea. not a decided curriculum that allows no room to breathe, not a selfish goal, not a crumbled talent. but below all of that, the materialistic things in front of our eyes, there is where i find my real disappointment. in myself, in my heart that i wish contained more integrity and belief. but i could go on forever, with these thoughts that dwell and dwell until they dissolve, then resurface, and sprout new opinions, new pains, and dwell and dwell and dwell.


  1. You are an amazing writer, a brilliant photographer, and a passionate thinker! Great Job Lis!


    1. lissy tropea says:

      thankyou pippin!


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